Melquiades Aseron III

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Orgullo 2023 - A Coruña

Orgullo 2023 - A Coruña Melquiades Aseron III

June is Pride Month and the 28th is International Pride Day. Just like in many cities across the world, the LGBTQ+ community in A Coruña held a Pride March (Marcha de Orgullo Gay in Spanish) filled with rainbows that symbolize the diversity of the community and the colorful contributions they make to humanity.

LGBTQ+ Community & Allies Proudly March in A Coruña

A sea of color washed over the coastal city of A Coruña as its LGBTQ+ Community flooded its streets with the gay colors of the Rainbow Flag, which flowed smoothly from Plaza de Ourense to Plaza de María Pita.

Despite the lack of official support from the city government, made evident by the fact that the Rainbow Flag has not been flown at the Municipal Palace for the past four years (and counting), other government agencies, such as the Port Authority, showed their solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community by doing so.

The Port Authority of A Coruña flies the Rainbow Flag

Used to defying the odds stacked against it, the LGBTQ+ Community went on with the annual parade, giving all of its members hope by showing that they are not alone and by exhorting them to resist a wave of ultra-right politics that dehumanize LGBTQ+ folk by calling them pedophiles.

Rainbows & Smiles

The Rainbow Flag has a lot of meaning behind it, whether historical or personal. Historically, it was designed by Gilbert Baker after having been commissioned by Harvey Milk, and its colors were intended to “represent togetherness, since LGBT people come in all races, ages and genders, and rainbows are both natural and beautiful”.

From a personal standpoint, the Rainbow Flag carries as many meanings as there are members of the LGBTQ+ community, and I like to think most, if not all, of them has hope at its center - as its vibrant colors serve as a beacon to guide those lost in the darkness of the closets they have been pushed into by society. Here are a couple of examples from me:

The Prism

As children, we learned that boring visible light, when passed through a prism, is refracted to reveal multiple colors. The prism slows down the light waves and, since the different light colors that make up white light don’t all travel at the same speed, they can be seen individually in the order in which they are slowed down (for example, red light is slowed down the least and so it appears at the top, and violet light is slowed down the most so it appears at the bottom).

The Rainbow Flag can be likened to a prism, encouraging us to take a moment and slow down the judgments that our brains make about other people and maybe, just maybe, we can see the beauty they can bring to the world.

The Great Flood

The very book that homophobes use to justify their violence against the LGBTQ+ folk contains symbolism that can bring hope even to such victims.

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.

Genesis 9:13-16

It’s amusing to think that the playful and cheeky LGBTQ+ community can use this passage from the Bible to rub the Rainbow Flag in the noses of (mostly religious) homophobes, and at the same time remind ourselves that the Great Flood of Tears - whether shed or unshed - that comes at least once in the life of every LGBTQ+ member is due to the continual Storm of Insults and Violence inspired by the same book.

Hard-Earned Pride After a Life of Shame

The word “Pride” features prominently in LGBTQ+ activism, and when I first encountered terms containing the word, I found its usage strange, as I never really thought sexual orientation was something to be proud of because it’s just something that’s a part of us - it even alarmed me a bit to think that it may give straight people some justification to be proud of their own sexuality.

Upon reflection, however, I found that the use of “Pride” in the LGBTQ+ movement is not rooted in arrogance, but is actually intended to help members of the community to break free of the shame that, one way or another, became part of their lives.

A scene from the 2023 Pride March in A Coruña
Subconsciously Ashamed

I consider myself privileged not to have been left deeply traumatized by events related to my sexual orientation, as I realized at an early age of four/five that I was gay and I very quickly learned from the behavior of adults around me that being so was something that had to be concealed because it was highly undesirable and would cause great suffering on my end if I were to reveal it.

While being secure in my identity allowed me to have a relatively carefree childhood filled with books, TV, and computer games, it also gave me a compulsion to overachieve in order to preemptively compensate for any shame that would instantly arise on the part of my family of origin when I do dare to come out of my relatively cozy but nonetheless dark proverbial closet. It also did not shield me from pain whenever I was called nasty homophobic slurs (“pondan”) that made me quickly modify my mannerisms and behavior to protect myself from future verbal abuse.

The privilege of growing up with little (if any) gender-related PTSD - thanks to an acute ability to adapt - did not leave me unscathed, though, especially when my sexual orientation came into conflict with other parts of my identity. Being raised to worship a God that was the source of all that is good while at the same time learning that the same God would condemn gay people to an eternity of fiery torment for “behavior against the laws of nature and God” is difficult for any child to take in. I was left grasping at straws to reconcile two very contrasting parts of my identity - both of which I did not choose to begin with - until I was able to come up with a personal compromise (hint: I effectively founded a gay-friendly branch of Catholicism in my mind).

These only form part of a set of life experiences that ultimately produced an adult who very slightly panics when seen picking out a Pride shirt or thinks twice when kissing his husband in public. Someone with internalized shame buried deep within his subconscious, that he hardly thinks of it as shame, just a way of living.

LGBTQ+ Children - Casualties in a World where Homophobes Draw Blood and Spit Poison

I was pleasantly surprised to see a large number of youths join the Pride March in A Coruña, and it was comforting to see that LGBTQ+ children these days have a strong support system waiting for them - if they are able to seek help in the first place.

Nonetheless, International Pride Day is just one day in a year. For most of the year, LGBTQ+ children across the world generally suffer just for being different, facing discrimination, intimidation, harassment and violence on a regular basis. This applies to children both in developed countries such as Spain and the United States, and in developing countries such as the Philippines.

In some countries, things are taken to the extreme as the full might of state power is used to punish LGBTQ+ people just for being born the way they are, such as in Brunei, where I grew up.

The visibility of the LGBTQ+ Community and the support of its Allies is of tremendous help to children, by assuring them that they are not alone in this world and by showing them that there is a refuge where they are loved just the way they are.

An LGBTQ couple proudly showing their Rainbow Bracelet
Coping with Shame

The usual advice when it comes to dealing with psychological issues such as trauma is to seek the professional help of a therapist because it is the best piece of advice. Nonetheless, the ideal does not always coincide with reality and sometimes we need to make the most of what we have - ourselves.

I personally found that self-awareness is a great starting point to healing, and it is achieved by asking oneself some difficult questions and trying to answer them honestly in a safe environment. Reputable websites such as the Gottman Institute and Psych Central provide information that can help one prepare for a much-needed therapy session.

LGBTQ+ Rights are Human Rights

Throughout history, LGBTQ+ folk have been targeted and treated abysmally on mostly religious grounds and such treatment was often enshrined in law.

Then the horrifying events of World War II saw the large-scale slaughter of vulnerable groups of people, including LGBTQ+ folk, which led to the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the United Nation General Assembly in 1948. However, as with other international accords, the enforcement of such human rights are essentially done on a trust basis because it is left to member states, the usual perpetrators of human rights abuses which also happen to have a tendency to pick on people deemed immoral to instill fear in the population.

The rise of LGBTQ+ movement united the voice of the community, which started demanding for recognition of the unique status of its members as being especially vulnerable to human rights abuses and for equal access to rights hitherto enjoyed only by heterosexual couples - something that has now become so politically charged that it makes one wonder why the clamor of a minority for equal rights seems like it diminishes or even takes away the rights of those in the majority.

It needs to be spelled out that LGBTQ+ rights are human rights - when this finally sinks in, we stop the dehumanization of the LGBTQ+ community.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Most members of the LGBTQ+ Community, myself included, grew up wishing for a world that would accept and protect us. With the Rainbow Flag, we are starting to build that world.